Being an independent woman is a life skill that will empower you to take control of your life and rely on yourself to accomplish your dreams. The more independent you are, the more freedom you have to focus on what matters most to you and to attain your goals in ways that are important to you. Being an independent woman is not about being alone but it is about honoring your own needs and values over those of others.
Independence is the foundation of your adult life. It’s the thing that allows you to make decisions for yourself, do things for yourself, and move through life without a constant feeling of self-doubt or regret. No one reaches the end of their lives regretting the adventurous things they did do. We do, however, often regret the things we didn’t have the courage or ability to do.
We all have that family member or friend who likes to constantly offer their free advice, or explanation as to why you should live your life a certain way. Maybe your favorite aunt has offered some free advice that you know will only do more harm than good, but she managed to make a very good point you didn't think about. Your independence, self-reliance, and self-worth allow you to see the difference in having made a good point and offering bad advice. You can also see that though they both came from your favorite aunt, you have the power to decide what’s ultimately best for you.
As tempting as it is to consider independence and self-reliance the same thing, the truth of the matter is that each is different from the other. Independence cannot be achieved without successfully achieving self-reliance. Your self-reliance is your ability to think, act, and move independently. Self-reliance is more a matter of personality and willpower. It’s steeped in your personal power, and your own self-esteem and self-worth.
A few steps to help on your road to independence.
Step 1: Focus on Self-Acceptance
Until you accept everything about yourself, you cannot be a strong and independent woman. You must come to terms with your flaws and weaknesses, your regrets, and your mistakes, as well as learning to accept your gifts and talents. You must learn to accept your choices, your values, your body, and your needs, as they form the basis of what you need to do to be happy. Learn to believe in yourself and your ability to control your life. You are special and unique, and your needs and opinions are just as valid as others. Believe in yourself so that you can learn to trust your intuition and choices.
Step 2: Accept the Nature of the World and Other People
You can change yourself, but you can’t change other people. You can master your own will, but you can’t control the world and the events outside your sphere of influence. You can’t stop or change disasters or unexpected events. You can’t make other people care or try harder. You can’t make life be fairer or force outcomes to always fall your way.
The only thing you can control is yourself. The only thing you can rely on is your own ability to manage yourself, your life, and your choices. Letting go of the things you can’t control is freeing and helps you remain strong because you can let go of worrying about everyone and everything else. You can’t stop change or unfairness, but you can prepare yourself for dealing with them and control your responses to these outcomes.
Step 3: Stop Worrying About What Others Think
Those who are independent know that the only opinion that ultimately matters is your own. You must live with the consequences of your choices, so your opinion is the most important one to consider. You can decide for yourself if something is good, if it looks nice, or if it makes you feel good. You do not need others to help you make your judgments. The same is true for your choices. No one else’s opinion about your accomplishments, mistakes, or actions matters as long as you are happy, and you are learning from them. Letting go of what others think about you frees you to stand on your own and make up your own mind.
Step 4: Do Not Settle
Women who lack independence will often do things they do not want to do to be nice or to make others feel good. They settle because it helps others, not because it helps them. When you are an independent woman, you are comfortable working hard for what you want, with defending your ideas and beliefs, and with being able to take care of yourself. As long as you are not hurting others, you should not compromise your goals for other people.
Learning to be more independent is a process of changing your mindset, your actions, and your emotions. It takes time and patience, but you can learn to rely on yourself more than others when you believe in yourself, and you accept your ability to control your life.
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